I Am Pretty Right?
by Sohiniixoxo
Summary: A Rachel/Puck fic! It starts out with Puck insulting Rachel's beauty, and develops into so much more! With a Puckleberry Finn triangle and some Jacob Ben-Israel fun. Will Rachel finally become socially accepted? Read if you liked Tutoring-sohiniixoxo!
1. Ahh Young Love

**A/N: I'm back! Now, this time, I've decided to portray Rachel differently. She will still be an attention-seeker and everything like that, but she won't be a prude. That's pretty much all you need to know. Enjoy and REVIEW!**

Rachel Berry sat in Glee, eyes trained on Mr. Schue as she eagerly drank in what he had to say. Santana and Brittany sat in the back gossiping about the school- mostly Rachel, though. Kurt was commenting on Mercedes' outfit, and Mercedes was doing the same to Kurt; it was their ritual. Quinn sat looking wistfully at Santana and Brittany, wishing she could join them. Matt, Mike, Finn, and Puck sat in the back, looking bored and rolling their eyes when they thought Mr. Schue had said something typical. Tina and Artie sat next to each other and listened to Mr. Schue, though they also slipped in and out while making goo-goo eyes at each other.

Then, the bell rang. Everybody broke out of their Glee-time trances and went about their day. See, during the day, the Glee kids barely acknowledged the ones that were not in their social circles. Not even the geeks, Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, and Artie, acknowledged her. The only two people that seemed to take interest in her was a) Finn. But she had gotten over Finn a long time ago. As it turned out, Finn was just playing her to keep her on Glee, and the only reason she really liked him was because he gave her the attention she had always wanted but never got. Well some of it. Now it seemed he had taken an interest in her, but she would still be nothing compared to Quinn Fabray. B) Jacob Ben-Israel. And speaking of Jacob…

"Rachel Berry, you are my goddess. I want to make you a woman tonight." He whispered in her ear, trying to be seductive, but failing because she was too busy coughing after the big dose of Jew-Fro she got stuck in her face.

"Go away. I will now nor ever be your _anything_. So you can go trim your jungle now." she told him cattily. It's not that she was a mean person, but she definitely had attitude and also had enough of the pathetic little boy standing in front of her.

"Oh, feisty. I like them feisty." He said, leering at her as if he could see through her skirt. Then, he grabbed her wrist when she tried to walk away.  
"Stay with me Rachel! We can do things together, baby!" he called after her.

See, at this point, although Rachel was pretty much invisible, they had called the attention of many people in the hall, who stopped to giggle and snicker at the scene in front of them.

"Let… me…. go…." she said, struggling with his grip.

"She said let her go." said a deep male voice.

_Oh gosh, this is just like a movie cliché._ She thought while she rolled her eyes. _And my knight in shining armor is…_

Out of the crowd stepped Noah Puckerman. Jacob, out of pure fear, let go of Rachel and started to cower against the lockers.

"Now, let me see you do that again, and I will put my foot up your ass so hard that you'll have to surgically remove my shoe out of your stupid fro. Clear?" he asked menacingly.

"C-c-cryst-tal." Jacob stuttered.

"Good. Now get out of my sight." Puck said. Jacob ran through the crowd.

"You okay Berry?" he asked Rachel.

"I'm fine. Thanks, I guess." she told him.

"No prob. God, he disgusts me so much. Honestly. He has no looks, style, charm, wit, muscles, taste, muscles…" Puck spat.

"Um… excuse me? What do you mean he doesn't have taste?" Rachel asked angrily.

"Well that's obvious. I mean if you're going to stalk a girl, why not make it a pretty one?" Puck asked, completely oblivious to the anger of the girl right in front of him. That is, until she slapped him across the face, and walked away.

"Jeez. You'd think that she would at least be thankful." He mumbled, rubbing his cheek and glaring at Rachel's retreating figure before walking away.

"Hey, are you okay?" asked Mercedes worriedly.

"What, you're worried about me now?" asked Rachel snippily.

"Um woah back up. I was just asking you if you were okay, and now you wanna go get sassy with me?" Mercedes asked affronted.

"Sorry." she said, not sounding sorry at all. "You've just ignored me before, so I'm not really sure what to think."

"Well, you're my girl now. We've got to stick together. Now, let's walk to math together." Mercedes said with a smile. Rachel gave her an unsure smile back.

"I don't want to sound rude and deny, but we aren't in the same math class." Rachel put in quietly.

"Oh. Well then I'll catch you later?" Mercedes asked to make sure she was clear about her feelings.

"Yeah. See you later." Rachel replied.

"Umm excuse me, Mercedes, but what was that? Have you _seen_ what she's wearing?" he asked angrily, waving his hands at the polyester nightmare traveling away from them.

"Kurt, you need to back up out of my face." she told him sassily. "Rachel needs a friend. I don't care how she dresses. We can work on that later. It could be fun."

"Whatever, but I don't like it." said Kurt decidedly.

"And I don't care. I'm going to be her friend. So deal with it." Mercedes said one last time before walking off to her math class.

**And that was the first chapter. Also, to my HARRY POTTER fans out there, make sure you read my story, Lily and James: A History. .net/s/5992986/1/Lily_and_James_A_History Lily and James madness, fluffiness, etc.!**

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	2. Let Me Upgrade U

**A/N: Hey everybody! It's a long one this time! Thank you all so so much for all of the awesome reviews. Especially to ALLIELOVESYOU, who gave me the inspiration for this chapter. Just for kicks, to match the idea of the chapter- the song is Upgrade you by Beyonce. You guys are the best! I have dipped my feet in Harry Potter, but I've noticed the Gleeks are much more responsive to my writing. If you do read Harry Potter, make sure you check out my story Lily and James: A History. It's all the way through their entire Hogwarts career, and it's not all fluff either. So thanks!**

**A/N 2: I've mentioned how I got a bunch of reviews? Now I'm going to respond to them. I hope this'll make you want to review more. I don't care if you're reviewing to tell me you love the story, or to tell me your hair smells nice. If you want to contact me, just review!**

**Wickedglee: ****First of all, love your username. Second, I was thinking of that, but I kinda want him to stay clueless just so there's more character development. Plus, then he would have to apologize (cuz I'm a freak like that :D) and it would just be out of character.**

**Arianaconstantina****: Thank you! *blushes and tries to scurry out of sight thereby knocking a lamp of its table* I do try my hardest!**

**Allielovesyou****: I NEED TO TELL YOU THIS: I love you too! You've been there since Tutoring, and I honestly don't know what I would do without you. That is a great idea, and here's me telling you to read on! Here it is!**

**Bestdarnthing:**** Yeah I try to keep Puck in character no matter how much I change Rachel, just because that's how his character is the most stomach-able. (?) Right. Now that I'm done making up words…**

**Izzabella11****: Haha thank you! To be honest, I'm trying this out to make it longer. Plus I hate the cliché (as you can probably tell from Rachel's thought process) where he "looks at her and it hits him like a bolt of lightning". Bleh. Like honestly? This is high school. Not like some stupid reality TV show or anything. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.**

**PandaXR8****: Here we go! Hope you lurrvvee ittt :)**

**LifeGivesYouLemons****: Tell me about it! I know I'm babbling, but that's why I love the whole Puck/Rachel relationship. They balance each other out.**

**27vampyresinhermind****: Here it is! I do try to write longer chapters, but I feel like when I try to force it, the writing comes out like crap. Sorry to disappoint but I'm trying to write more frequently so it makes up for the length. I hope that works for you!**

**JustAmazing****: 1) I know I am! I'm just kidding. But I love the girls who actually do act like that. 2) I did feel like that was something he would just do. **

**Alright, enough small talk, let's do this thing!**

**Myra 'Trory' Dork:**** Here you go love!**

Rachel drove up to the school in her purple buggy (**so sue me :P**). In all honesty, she was not looking forward to today. She was just waiting for it to turn back into the days before yesterday when everybody ignored her and her only friends were Brad (**the pianist, FYI**) and her own personal stalker, Jacob. But that never happened.

"Hey girl!" Mercedes called out from her locker, where Kurt was standing with her. Kurt gave her a cool wave.

"Hey Mercedes. Hi Kurt." Rachel added to Kurt.

"What's up?" Mercedes asked Rachel. "You like kinda… off."

"Well, I have to ask you guys a question." Rachel told them tentatively. Mercedes made a gesture telling her to go on, while Kurt just looked bored. "I am pretty… right?"

Mercedes and Kurt just looked uncomfortable and avoided her eyes.

"If you guys are trying to tell me something, just say it." Rachel told them, sounding hurt.

"It's not that you aren't pretty…" started Mercedes. She looked hesitant, so Kurt, looking extremely disconcerted with the entire situation cut her off.

"You aren't pretty now, but you do have potential." he said bluntly.

"Potential?" Rachel asked uncertainly.

"Oh yeah definitely." Mercedes said, more confident now that the point had gotten out. "You just have tweak yourself a little. I'm gonna be honest, no lez or anything, but you are _totally_ bootilicious. Now all you need to do is dump the sweater vests, skirts, and animals."

"And the polyester is killing me." Kurt added in.

"Well, I wouldn't know what to do with myself." Rachel stopped, and her eyes lit up. She knew the perfect way to get Kurt out of his indifference. "Hey Kurt?" she asked innocently.

"What is it now?" he asked irritably.

"Could you… I don't know… help me be prettier… like a makeover or something?" she finished off.

Kurt's eyes went alive.

"You had me at "help me be prettier". We are going to make you the most gorgeous girl in school and nothing is going to stop me. Mercedes will have to help too, of course." Kurt said excitedly.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Rachel said, beaming at Mercedes. "When should we start?"

Mercedes and Kurt looked at each other, and simultaneously started cracking up.

"Wh-when should we st-start!" Mercedes wheezed. When they finally calmed down, Mercedes told her.

"We are starting after school. I don't need to hear any excuses, complaints, or feedback. Got it?" Mercedes asked menacingly.

"Right. I'm scared." Rachel said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "But I wasn't going to complain anyway, so you can retract the claws now kitty!"

"Wow I didn't know Rachel came with a sense of humor!" Kurt said, appalled.

"Well, now you know." Rachel said dismissively. "See you guys in Glee!" she shouted, and flounced off to her locker.

*`~-.,.-~'**`~-.,.-~'**`~-.,.-~'*

"Alright guys, I have a treat for you today. We're going to do a little bit of Beyonce." Mr. Schue told them excitedly. "Mercedes do you want the lead?"

"Oh HELL yes! It's about time we stopped doing all this teeny bopper white music. I got this Mr. Schue!" Mercedes said happily.

"Let's do this Mercedes." Artie said smiling.

(_Mercedes__** Artie)**_

_**Hehehe, yeah B  
Talk yo' shit heheh (**__partner let me upgrade you__**)  
How you gon' upgrade me  
What's higher than number one  
You know I used to beat that block  
Now I be's the block (**__partner let me upgrade you__**)  
**__  
I hear you be the block  
But I'm the lights that keep the streets on  
Notice you the type that like to keep them on a  
Leash though  
I'm known to walk alone  
But I'm alone for a reason  
Sending me a drink ain't appeasing  
Believe me  
Come harder this wont be easy  
Don't doubt yourself trust me you need me  
This ain't a shoulder with a chip or an ego  
But what you think they all mad at me for_

You need a real woman in your life  
That's a good look  
Taking care, home is still fly  
That's a good look  
I'ma help you build up your account  
Thats a good look  
Better yet a hood look  
Ladies that's a good look  
When you're in them big meetings for the mills  
Thats a good look  
It take me just to compliment the deal  
Thats a good look  
Anything you cop I'll split the bill  
Thats a good look  
Better yet a hood look  
Believe me  
Ladies that's a good look

Partner Let me upgrade you  
Audemars Piguet you  
Switch your neck ties to purple labels  
Upgrade you  
I can up, can I up  
Lemme upgrade you  
Partner let me upgrade you  
Partner let me upgrade you  
Flip a new page  
Introduce you to some new things &  
Upgrade you  
I can up  
Can I up, let me  
Upgrade you

I can do for you what Martin did for the people  
Ran by the men but the women keep the tempo  
It's very seldom that you're blessed to find your equal  
Still play my part and let you take the lead role  
Believe me  
I'll follow this could be easy  
I'll be the help whenever you need me  
I see you hustle wit my hustle I  
Can keep you  
Focused on yo focus I can feed you

You need a real woman in your life  
That's a good look  
Taking care  
Home is still fly  
Thats a good look  
Ima help you build up your account  
Thats a good look  
Better yet a hood look  
Ladies that's a good look

When you're in the big meetings for the mills  
That's a good look  
It take me just to compliment the deal  
That's a good look  
Anything you cop I'll split the bill  
That's a good look  
Better yet a hood look  
Ladies that's a good look

Partner let me upgrade you  
Audemars Piguet you  
Switch your neck tie to purple labels  
(Have you rocking purple labels!)  
Upgrade you  
I can (up), can I (up), let me  
Upgrade you (partner let me upgrade you)  
Let me upgrade you  
Flip a new page  
Introduce you to some new things  
Upgrade you  
I can (up), can I (up), let me  
Upgrade you (partner let me upgrade you)

_**I B the d-boy who infiltrated all the corporate dudes  
They call shots, I call audibles  
Jacob the jeweler, baubles, Lauraine Schwartz sorta dude  
It's big balling baby when I'm courting you  
I'm talking spy bags and fly pads and rooms at the Bloomberg  
And rumors you on the verge of a new merge  
'Cause that rock on ya finger is like a tumor  
You can't put ya hand in ya new purse  
It's humorous to me they watching  
We just yachting off the island hopping off  
Amalfi coast  
Mafioso, oh baby you ever seen Saturn  
No, not the car but everywhere we are  
You sure to see stars.  
This is high level not eye level  
My bezzle courtesy of Audemars  
I order yours tomorrow now look how much I saved you  
Mama let me upgrade you**___

Just when you think we had it all  
Big ends, condos, collecting cars  
Picture your life elevating with me  
You my project celebrity  
I keep your name hot in them streets  
That little glimpse of light  
Makes that diamond really shine  
And you already is a star  
Unless your flawless  
Then ya dynasty ain't complete without a chief like me  
Partner let me upgrade you  
Audemars Piguet you  
You switch your neckties to purple labels  
Upgrade you  
I can up  
Can I up  
Lemme upgrade you  
Partner let me upgrade you  
Partner let me upgrade you  
Flip a new page  
Introduce you to some new things  
And upgrade you  
I can up  
Can I up?  
Lemme upgrade you

Audemars Piguet watch  
Dimples in ya necktie  
Hermes briefcase  
Cartier top clips  
Silk lined blazers  
Diamond creamed facials  
VVS cuff links  
6 star pent suites

Partna let me upgrade ya grade ya  
Partna partna let me upgrade ya grade ya  
Let me let me let me upgrade ya grade ya  
Partna partna partna let me upgrade ya

All of the glee kids clapped and cheered: Mercedes had just shown Beyonce how it's done.

"Mercedes, that was incredible!" Rachel told her, amazed.

"Damn Mercedes." Puck said. Rachel took the time to glare at him properly. Fortunately or unfortunately, he caught this.

"What the hell is your problem Berry?" He asked heatedly. "Why are you so pissed at me?"  
"Well, Noah, I don't know what planet you live on, but here on Earth, when someone tells someone else that they are not pretty, that said someone else may get angry with said someone." Rachel yelled.

"I don't even know what the you're talking about! I didn't even do anything to you. So get over yourself Berry. You aren't that great." With that, Puck stalked out of the room, followed by the rest of the jock boys. Finn gave Rachel one last guilty look and followed them out the door. Rachel just stood there, wounded. She did not cry, she just stared after Puck. After a few seconds, she pulled herself together, she walked out of the room.

At the end of the day, Rachel went out to meet Mercedes and Kurt.

"You ready for this?" Mercedes asked.  
"I'm ready. Let's do this." Rachel said.

"I have this all planned out. First we're going to hit Dino Palmiero and get your hair cut. That middle part mop is killing me. Then we are going to go to Victoria's Secret and get you some proper lingerie. After that, we are going to head to H&M, and whatever other stores Mercedes and I approve of." Kurt said. Rachel took a deep breath.

"Let's go."

Rachel sat in the Dino Palmiero getting her hair cut. She was nervous. The most diverse style she had ever gotten was her hair layered. This stylist was snipping at angles, thinning out her hair, and cutting very short. So yes, nervous could not cover what she was thinking. No, she was not worried that the stylist, Dina, would mess up. Kurt had recommended Dina highly. She was worried that _she_ would not pull off the look. After all, she wasn't pretty. (**Think bitter, not low ego.**)

The stylist announced herself done, blow dried, and straightened her hair. Rachel was facing away from the mirror by Mercedes' request.

"Are you ready?" Mercedes asked excitedly.

"I think so. How do I look?" Rachel asked one more time just to be cautious.

"You look great. So much better than your old style." Kurt said, waving his hand about in the air to emphasize the past-ness of her old style.

"3… 2… 1!" Dina counted down.

Rachel looked fabulous. Her hair had been layered more intricately so the top layer varied in height over the bottom layer. The bottom layer went down to shoulder length. She had gotten side-swept bangs. It looked fabulous.

"Now, we're going to my personal favorite." Kurt said brightly.

The three walked through the mall and into Victoria's Secret.

"I swear this place just get's pinker and pinker every time I come here." Mercedes said in disgust.

"Well what's your other suggestion? Macy's?" Kurt sneered.

"Whatever. Let's just get this over with." Mercedes retorted

"Now what's your bra size?" Mercedes asked bluntly.

"36C." Rachel replied timidly..

That was Rachel's mentality as well. They had tried on all sorts of things. Kurt and Mercedes insisted on matching. Rachel agreed. It was just obnoxious when patterns didn't match.

In the end they had gotten 12 pairs of lingerie.  
"You're going to need this soon. I expect you to buy more later." Kurt said curtly. **(no pun intended.)**

"Right…" Rachel said skeptically.

"Now onto the real deal!" Mercedes said excitedly.

They went to H&M, Rue 21, Wet Seal, Forever 21, and Charlotte Russe.  
"Why are we going to all of these milky white stores?" Mercedes whined.

"Oh get over it!" Kurt said. "When we go shopping, you don't seem to mind."

They continued bickering while Rachel mused about their relationship. They seemed like complete opposites, yet they got along. Why couldn't the rest of their Glee Club do that? Sure, they were supposed to overcome adversity, but that obviously wasn't happening any time soon. Kurt and Mercedes didn't even get along at first. It just wasn't fair.

"You better look smoking hot tomorrow with all of the stuff I showed you about makeup, how to match your outfits, and how to not look like a tart while doing so." Kurt said. With parting hugs, the three went their separate ways.

**I thought I indulged enough, so the chapter had to stop with this. REVIEW and tell me how you feel!**


	3. Notso Knights in Shining Armor and Locks

**A/N: Okay guys I'm trying something new from now on. I'm going to find a quote to represent every chapter, so tell me what you think! Also, I'm going to have a new song every chapter. It's a little bit hard to find a good song, and A/N 2: REVIEW ANSWERING TIME!**

**HeartForSoul****: All in good time, my darling… I was actually planning that for later so hang in there!**

**Cori-Ackles****: Here you go dollface!**

**Aussie Panda:**** Makeovers are my favorite kinds of chapter to write! So if I'm doing a P/R fic, you know theres going to be a makeover! And here you go! (Don't be too dissapointed!)**

**LifeGivesYouLemons:**** Thanks! So, here it is!**

**.Wannabe-Fantasy.****: Thanks! I tried to make it a little bit different than other times! And there you go!**

**27vampyresinhermind****: No prob! That was actually just a random idea! I write as I go :)**

**izzabella11****: He is who he is! I mean Puck is a jerk, that's how he is. He didn't really change into a nice person until later on in the season and this is taking place in the middle of the season so sorry, but that's why we love him!**

**aussietasha****: How'd you know?**

**twighlightangel61090:**** Sorry about that! But anyway here it is, even though its not what you may have expected…**

**allielovesyou****: Welcome darling! Thanks so much for the support!**

**Gleekforever****: Thanks, and kurtastic? LOVE 3**

**bestdarnthing****: There you go!**

**Myra 'Trory' Dork****: Sing your heart out babe. And here you go!**

**A/N 3: I want to share something that I feel really strongly about. So anyone heard of Kidz Bop? Well they spoil every song they sing. Its atrocious. Like honestly.**

**(Down in the conversation between Kurt and Mercedes during glee, Kurt speaks first.)**

"_There are no men in shining armor, only retards wrapped in tin foil."_

_It's almost time to go to school, Rachel._ Rachel thought to herself in anticipation for the next day. She got up early, went through her morning workout, and started to get ready. She put on her bright red tank top with a form fitting black shrug to go over it. Underneath she wore a matching set of black underwear with hot pink polka dots with black lace, and blue skinny jeans with black boots. She did her smoky eyes, put her lip gloss on, and made her new side-swept bangs fell over her forehead the right way. She jumped into her purple Prius and began the achingly long drive to school.

When she finally got to school, she opened the doors and began to strut the way Kurt taught her. Indeed, many of the guys did double takes, wondering who the new hot chick at school was. Honestly, Rachel knew she wasn't very popular, but she didn't think she was literally invisible. Especially after the whole Finn drama, I mean, for Celine's sake! However, she kept her eyes straight forward, slight smirk on her face, and went right to Mercedes' locker.

"Rachel, you look hot!" Mercedes exclaimed when she set eyes on Rachel.

"Thanks! I feel… not invisible!" Rachel told her gleefully.

"That's great. I'm glad everything worked out." Mercedes said sincerely.

Kurt walked to Mercedes and Rachel and joined in their conversatioin.

"Rachel, your grand entrance was smoking. You did everything perfectly." He said in a satisfied manner.

"Great! Now what? I honestly didn't think anything like this would happen." Rachel said.

"Honestly, I didn't either. I mean you look like a totally different person!" Mercedes said excitedly.

"Now, you have fun with it!" Kurt said. "I want to know how much you can work it without my guidance."

"You can do this! You need to work that skinny ass!" Mercedes said strongly. "Come on Rachel!"

"I can do it." Rachel said self-assuringly.

"Hey baby." Puck said seductively, putting an arm around Rachel's waist and talking into her ear. "So dollface, how about we go out some time? Come on beautiful, I would be a great boyfriend."

"Get off me _honeybunch_." Rachel spat, shoving him away from her and walking promptly in the other direction. "And by the way, if you were a great boyfriend, Quinn wouldn't be pregnant."

Puck looked after Rachel in disbelief. Nobody had ever rejected him like that before. No one could resist Tactic 3 Edition 5! Come on, the Puckerone was ripped! Whatever.

"Rachel Berry, you are flawless." Jacob said, trying to be seductive.  
"Thanks, but no thanks." Rachel retorted bitterly.

"Come on, don't be like that." Jacob said, attempting way to hard to be alluring.

"Out. Of. My. Way." Rachel lsaid angrily, trying to push past him.

"NO!" Jacob yelled, as he lunged for her, attempting to find her mouth as he slammed her against the locker, while she tried to push him off her and attempted to keep her mouth anywhere but on his. Then, Jacob heard someone clearing their throat behind him. He turned around fearfully.

"Hey Jew-Fro. What did we say about Berry?" Puck asked menacingly.

"Out of the way, Puckerman. Thanks for that, but I didn't need your help." Rachel said.

Jacob, who was scared to the point of peeing himself, fled the area, whimpering all the while.

"Sorry, but did I not just see freak show all up in your business?" He asked disbelievingly.

"_Sorry_" she said mimicking him. "But I was just about to push him off."

"Berry, you are so full of bull."

"I am not! I had it under control!"  
"Right. And I'm ugly. Why can't you just deal with someone being your knight in shining armor?" He asked exasperatedly.

"There are no knights in shining armor, only retards wrapped in tin foil." Rachel said curtly. With that she turned on her heel, and strutted away.

"Well at least I didn't get slapped this time…" Puck muttered, unconsciously checking out her ass in her new jeans.

Later, in Glee, Mercedes, Kurt, and Rachel sat together. Rachel wasn't ranting about Puck anymore. There were two reasons for that.

**Flashback to conversation after 1****st**** period. **

"_I do not know why you're complaining. Puck is a fine piece of ass and all you have to do is play damsel in distress." Mercedes told her._

"_Yes, but I do not like him that, and he doesn't like me that way either!" Rachel exclaimed._

"_Honey, I thought you were being a little ungrateful." Kurt told her honestly._

"_Excuse me? Ungrateful? I was standing up for my rights as a women. He thinks he can meander around playing knight in shinging armor for the millions of girls who need his help! I DON'T THINK SO!" Rachel yelled angrily._

"_Well, if everything happened the way you said, then by now you would be in the hospital testing for pregnancy." Kurt said seriously._

"_Gee thanks. And by the way, I had the situation under control! I was just about to push him off!" Rachel said heatedly._

"_Yeah and I'm a skinny ginger." Mercedes said sarcastically. _

"_Whatever."_

So Rachel was done arguing with them.

Reason two, they wanted to talk "alone". Well crap.

Even though she knew that they were talking about her, she didn't really mind. After all, she would rather have friends that are talking about her without her, than a room full of people who didn't want to talk to her at all. The good news was, she could totally hear their entire conversation.

"She needs a boyfriend. I think Puck is the perfect choice."  
"Yeah, but before that happens, one of them is going to end up _dead_!"

"Well who would you suggest?"

"What's wrong with Finn?"

"Oh please. We want for her to have a boyfriend, not to be bored to death." he said, rolling his eyes.

"I have had _enough_." Rachel said. "Mr. Schue? I would like to perform a song that shows how I really feel." She looked pointedly at Kurt and Mercedes. Mercedes had the decency to avert her eyes. Kurt just stared back just as pointedly.

"Go for it Rachel."

_I'm not waitin' around for a man to save me  
Don't depend on a guy to validate me  
No no  
I don't need to be anyone's baby  
No I don't need another half to make me whole_

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't  
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't

This is my current single status  
My declaration of independence  
There's no way I'm tradin' places  
Right now a star's in the ascendant

I'm single  
That's how I wanna be  
I'm single  
That's how I wanna be

Ah yeah Uh Huh that's right

Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good  
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love 'cos I would  
I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say I should  
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood  


_This is my current single status  
My declaration of independence  
There's no way I'm tradin' places  
Right now a star's in the ascendant_

Everything in it's right time everything in it's right place  
I know I'll settle down one day  
But 'til then I like it this way it's my way  
Eh I like it this way

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't  
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't  
'Til then I'm single

This is my current single status  
My declaration of independence  
There's no way I'm tradin' places  
Right now a star's in the ascendant

After she finished singing, everyone clapped for her, because honestly she did a good job. Mercedes looked ashamed, and Kurt just crossed his arms discontentedly. The bell rang, and Rachel went to gather her things and leave. She was just starting to pick her books up from underneath her chair.

Suddenly, the door to the choir room slammed, and she heard the click of a lock. "Oh no." She muttered, as she ran to the door frantically and tried to get it open.

"Somebody help! Unlock the door!" Rachel yelled as loud as she possibly could.

"Sorry, sweetie. This is for your own good. I promise!" Kurt's muffled voice came through the door.

"Sorry Rachel! I tried to tell him no but he didn't listen!" Mercedes said apologetically.

"Then unlock the door!" Rachel said in a "duh" voice.

"Sorry, no can do. Kurt would-"

"Yeah yeah. Whatever, I gave up on you when you said 'sorry'. Kurt, please!" Rachel pleaded one more time.

"It really is for your own good." Kurt said once more.

"Why would it be for my own-" Rachel started.

"Well, fuck." Rachel heard from behind her.

She turned around slowly, hoping with all her heart that it was not who she thought it was.

"Sup Berry." Puck said smirking.

"Noah." Rachel said coldly.

"Be nice." Kurt said from the other side of the door. "We'll be back for you soon. Or maybe not." She could almost hear the evil smirk on his face.


	4. Hoodlums and Victorious Kurt

**Apparently, we're not allowed to answer reviews in our story, or fanfiction will delete it. Sigh, another day of being put down by the man :P But anyway, here's your dose of R/P action **** I really hope that me not responding won't keep you from reviewing, but I'm trying to find a way to contact you guys without getting my story deleted. I WILL INSPIRE REBELLION :C KEEP REVIEWING!**

"Okay spill Puckerman." Rachel said curtly.

"What the hell are you on about now?" he asked disbelievingly.

"I _know_ you had something to do with this."

"Fine. If you must know, I really didn't wanna do this, but your friends paid me twenty bucks."

"_Friends._" Rachel muttered darkly.

"Oh get over yourself Berry. They're only trying to help." Rachel looked shocked that he could say anything mildly sensitive. "I mean how can you blame them? A fine piece of ass like me would help to remove that pole from your ass." Rachel let out the breath that she was holding. Noah had once again, proved himself to be the biggest douche to walk the planet.

"Well we might as well get comfortable. If I know Kurt, we'll be here at least overnight." Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

"What the fuck? I'm _hungry_!" He whined. Rachel ignored this.

"Why do you swear all the time?" Rachel asked out of curiosity. She wasn't saying it scornfully or anything, just wondering.

"I don't know. I started a while ago and now it just is a habit I guess…"

"Oh."

"Why don't you swear?"  
"I do swear, just not all the time." He looked at her in disbelief. "What, I do!"

"Lies." He said with finality.

"Oh yeah? You are a _fucking_ moron." Rachel said with a victorious little smirk on her face. He rolled his eyes.

"Oh, very clever, Berry. You want a trophy to remember the moment?" He asked sarcastically.

"No thanks." She said solemnly, her lips twitching. He cracked a smile and she burst out laughing, which caused him to laugh because her laughter was quite contagious. So there they sat laughing, as one smug Kurt watched through the key.

"I told you they were perfect for each other. They are hitting it off just fine. Look at them!" Kurt said ecstatically. Mercedes just rolled her eyes in a resigned fashion. Kurt had been going on about this for ten minutes.

"Mhm… interesting." She drawled.

"I mean they were sitting there laughing. Who would've thought? Me that's who!"  
"That's great Kurt."

"I know! Isn't it fabul-"  
"So when are you going to let them out?" Mercedes asked pointedly, cutting him off.

"Another day or two won't do them any harm." Kurt said grinning sinisterly.

"KURT! You can't expect them to go two days without food and water!"

"Fine. I'll let them out tomorrow morning if you're so worried." Kurt said, exasperated at the fact that Mercedes was worried about small things like their _health_. Mercedes gave up, knowing that she had done all she could and that was obviously as early as Kurt was going to let them out. So, they split ways and went to their last classes of the day.

"Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no. _Crap_." Rachel muttered frantically, pacing around the room nonstop as Noah Puckerman looked at her as though she had some sort of disease. "I am going to murder Kurt. _Murder him._"

"What are you complaining about _now_ Berry?"

"I've never skipped classes before. Now all of the teachers are going to think I'm a delinquent. I am going to KILL Kurt. Just you wait." Rachel began to rant angrily. "They won't be able to prove anything, I promise. I'll wear rubber gloves and a ski mask. I'll even tie my hair back. They'll never know it was me."  
"Oh shut up Berry. Skipping classes is not a big deal. I do it all the time. I'm still passing my classes."  
"Excuse me? Now the teachers are going to think I'm some sort of… hoodlum!" she exclaimed shrilly.  
Noah gawked at her incredulously. "_Hoodlum_?"  
"Yes, hoodlum." Rachel retorted prissily, her arms crossed in front of her.

He just continued staring at her for a few seconds. Then suddenly, much to Rachel's disgust, fell down to the floor and proceeded to roll around and laugh.

"Hoo-HOODLUM!" he wheezed, as the aforementioned word brought on a whole new wave of laughter. He actually had tears in his eyes by the time he sat up.

"Are you finished?" Rachel asked frostily, her eyes flashing and narrowed. The idea of Rachel trying to be menacing made him start laughing all over again. "I guess not…" Rachel mumbled, staring awestruck at the hilarity-filled testostorone bag rolling on the ground in front of her.

"Okay… I'm done." Puck said, wheezing his last wheezes. "Whew. Berry, you crack me up."

"I can see that." Rachel said, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yup. So other than ditching…" he chuckled. "What's going on in your life?"

Although he was saying it lightly, something earnest in his face made her want to voice something that's been eating at her for a while.

"Does Finn like me?" she asked bluntly. Puck looked thoughtful.

"I don't know. I think your best bet would be a yes. He's always making goo goo eyes at you and crap."  
"Really?" Rachel asked grimacing. He looked amused.

"What? I thought you would be prancing around singing show tunes by now?" He asked smirking.

"God! Everyone thinks I still like him don't they?" she asked angrily.

"Including him." Puck said simply. "Don't you?"

"No! The only reason I liked him in the first place was because he was one of the only people that were nice to me. I mean if you were being slushied almost every day, wouldn't you be attracted to the only person nice enough to give you a second glance?" Rachel asked him. He had a guilty look on his face that was more remorseful than little schoolboy caught in the act.

"Yeah.. sorry about that Berry." He apologized quietly… well for Noah Puckerman.

"It's fine. It made me a better, stronger person. It made me work harder. It made me… me." Rachel told him with a small smile.

"Well thank god for that then." He said smiling back. "Hey what time is it?"  
"About five."

He groaned. "I'm fucking starving."  
Rachel rolled her eyes. _And he's back._

"Hold on." She said suddenly. She ran to a cabinet in the room. She opened it and inside were twinkies and brownies.

"Bon appetit!" Rachel yelled gleefully.

"Berry, I love you right now." Noah yelled as he ran to the cabinet and grabbed an armful of treats. "How'd you know?"

"Mr. Schue has a weakness. I was about to come in when he was closing the cabinet."

Puck ate them with the vigor of a man who had never eaten in his life. Rachel also ate messily and extremely fast. He stared at her in wonder. In the middle of porking down a brownie, Rachel noticed him giving her this look.

"What?" She said through a mouthful of chocolaty goodness.

"You're eating like a pig." He said in disbelief.

"Gee thanks. Just what every girl wants to hear after they give you food." Rachel said dryly.

"It's a complement. I thought you were one of the girls that ate three hundred calories a day." He told her, rolling his eyes in memory of the many girls he had taken out who had gotten salads or appetizers in fear of "feeling fat later".

"Oh please!" Rachel exclaimed. "You mean the girls that have less meat on their bones than a chicken wing. I am not one of them. I eat, but I just work out."

"You work out?" He asked, as disbelieving as before.

"Yes!"

"Fine, how much do you bench?" Puck asked with an air of superiority.

"120." Rachel said with a victorious smirk. "That's pretty good for a girl that weighs as much as I do."

"Then why do you look so small?" he asked suspiciously.

"I have a petite bone structure!" She said defensively.

"Psht. You were making that up."

"Oh yeah?" She pulled up her shirt.

"Whoa there Berry. If you're trying to make a point…" He started.

"If you could stop your raging hormones for one moment, you would see what I'm actually trying to show you." Rachel told him. When he brought his eyes to her stomach, he saw a well defined six pack. "Damn Berry!"

"So ha." She said finally, sticking out her tongue.

"You know what? You're actually pretty alright."

"And don't you forget it!" Rachel said, winking at him. "I don't know about you, but I'm tired." At this point, they were already lying down next to each other.

"I am too. Night Berry!"  
"Good night Noah." She said smiling at him.

_  
The next morning, Noah woke up hesitantly and yawned. He looked at his side and found one Rachel Berry wrapping her arms around him and cuddling close to him. He gave a small smile and went back to sleep.

**Review please! I'll find a way to answer your reviews, I promise!**


	5. Brownies and Challenges

**A/N: Sorry for the delay you guys! My computer stopped working and then geek squad at best buy failed me **** But here it is! I updated as soon as I could. Luckily, I've had time to think, and came up with this really great idea. Enjoy!**

**A/N 2: I also have something to tell you. Most of your reviews have been great! But a lot of you have just reviewed saying: update soon. It doesn't tell me anything about my story. So please please please tell me how I am doing in your reviews. Suggestions, praise, anything!**

Rachel slowly opened her eyes, prepared for the purple and black color scheme of her room. She was not, however prepared for the choir room. The chairs were stacked up on the sides of the room and light was pouring in through the windows at the top of the room. She, disoriented, tried to sit up and take in her surroundings, but was held back by a muscular arm wrapped around her waist. She turned her head very slowly, as though if she didn't make any sudden movements the arm would disappear altogether. Finally, she was met with the sleeping face of none other than Noah Puckerman.

_Kurt._ She thought scathingly.

"Noah! Wake up!" She said, shaking him awake.

"Five more minutes mom…" He mumbled groggily.

"_Mom? _Okay, you better be awake in the next five minutes or I swear…" Rachel started dangerously, shaking him all the while.

"Excuse me! I was trying to sleep!" the severely irritated boy said angrily.

"Yeah? Well tough." Rachel grumbled.

"Jeez, who pissed in your bowl of cheerios Berry?"

Rachel sighed as she remembered how normal he was acting yesterday. "Never mind."  
"Is this like PMS or something?" he asked insensitively.

"Why is it, please tell, that whenever a girl is in a slightly bad mood, men blame it on _puberty?_"

"Because it usually is." Puck replied simply.

"No it's not!"

"Is too. Would you rather M thinking that, or that women are all emotional pansies all the time?"  
"YOU ALREADY DO!"

"So?" he asked defensively. Rachel rolled her eyes and walked towards the cupboard of treats. She opened the door, and found it empty except for one pack of brownies.

"What happened to all of the food?" she asked incredulously.

"Oh, I got hungry at about two in the morning." He answered sheepishly.

"You ate half a cupboard of food?" she inquired disbelievingly.

"No, only about a third."

Rachel rolled her eyes and took the pack of brownies out of the cupboard. She tore it open and was about to stuff one in her mouth.

"What do you think you're doing?" Noah asked her.

"This is called eating." Rachel answered him in a deliberately slow voice.

"I mean, I saved that for breakfast this morning. It's mine." He argued.

"No. You ate the entire stock, so the least you can do is let me have this pack of brownies."  
"Give. Me. The. Brownies. Don't make me take them from you."

"Please. You can pry these brownies from my cold lifeless hands."  
"That can be arranged!" He said, running at her and making a grab for the brownies. Unfortunately for him, she saw him starting to run and moved out of the way. He slammed into the wall while Rachel laughed at him. She took one of the brownies out of the packaging and shoved it in her mouth, exaggerating her chewing and hamming it up just to rub it in his face. However, there was one brownie left, and he wasn't going to give up without a fight. He let out a battle cry and tackled her. She struggled under him as she put one of her hands behind her back as an attempt to keep the brownie from him. He was trying to reach under her to grab the chocolaty treat.

"GIVE ME THE BROWNIE!"  
"NO!"

They couldn't hear anything over the grunts and yells, so they definitely did not hear the click of a lock as a very smug Kurt Hummel and shocked Mercedes Jones walked through the door.

"I DESERVE IT!"  
"NO YOU DON'T!"

He finally succeeded in getting the brownie and shoved it in his mouth as Rachel remained laying on the floor and mourning the loss of her breakfast.

"Well, I'm glad everything worked out then." Kurt said grinning.

"Kurt, I am going to _kill you_."

"Oh be quiet. You loved your little sleepover and you know it. Look, I even thought to bring you an outfit. Now go to the bathroom and change." He helped her up and patted her cheek fondly. She rolled her eyes and fought an urge to strangle him.

"Come on, I'll come with you." Mercedes said quietly, and followed her out the door.

This time, the outfit was a black velvet jacket with brass buttons that had a band at the waist to emphasize how small hers was. She wore a salmon pink tank top underneath, with gray skinny jeans as pants. Kurt even brought her black heels to go with the outfit. Mercedes did her make up that day.

"I'm proud of you." She finally told Rachel. "Kurt kept thinking you would be kissing passionately by the time he came to pick you up." She said rolling her eyes. Rachel couldn't help but crack a smile.

"I definitely still do not like him that way. But, I also definitely do not hate him anymore."  
"Then what was _that_?" Mercedes asked, referring to the wrestling match she had just witnessed earlier.

"That, was fighting over breakfast."  
Mercedes gawked at Rachel like she was crazy, but she just shrugged.

"I think we're friends now, but I doubt we'll ever be more than that." Rachel told her honestly.

"Oh well. We tried, I guess. This was all Kurt's idea anyway." Mercedes said flippantly.

"Oh _please_. You know you secretly loved the plan!" Rachel said amusedly.

"Yeah, I did…" Mercedes admitted smiling.

"Come on, let's go. Class is almost about to start. Bye Mercedes!" Rachel called after her, waving her hand.

"Later girl!" Mercedes called back, as they parted ways.

Rachel was smiling as she walked to her history class. She was halfway down the hallway that would take her to her classroom when Quinn Fabray blocked her path.

"We need to talk, man hands." She said in a menacing tone.

"What do you want this time?" Rachel asked her.

"Puck. Is. Mine." Quinn said, emphasizing each word.

"Umm… yes?" Rachel said unsurely. "What would make you think I want him?"  
"Please!" Quinn scoffed. "Everyone knows about your little slumber party with him. Well back off. This baby right here?" She pointed to her stomach. "His. So don't think you can just waltz in and take him from me. You may have new hair, and new clothes, but you will always be the ugly little loser underneath. Remember that."

Rachel laughed in her face. "Who do you think you are? You aren't a cheerio anymore. You aren't even popular! Santana and Brittany stopped hanging out with you! Why? Because you don't have pull anymore. So don't strut around here thinking you can just talk to me like that whenever you want. I put up with this from you for too long. So listen up: Noah and I are _just friends_. If you want to go and feel threatened by that, fine. But don't come bitching at me when your relationship gets ruined just because you're paranoid."  
With that, she walked around a shocked Quinn and entered her history class.

The day wore on as all of the kids got more and more tired. Finally, they were able to escape to Glee, where, _finally_, something exciting was going to happen.

Kurt, Mercedes, Rachel, Tina, and Artie were all laughing at a jibe by Rachel directed at Kurt. It was so funny, even he had to laugh. Quinn was glaring daggers into the back of Rachel's head. Santana and Brittany were once again gossiping about Rachel, only this time it was about her new clothes. And, the rest of the boys were lounging around in the back of the classroom.

Mr. Schue walked in with his eyes alight, and Miss Pillsbury followed him in.

"I have a bit of a surprise for you all today." He started, his voice full of anticipation. "We are going to do a battle of the sexes."

"Mr. Schue, I don't think that's such a good idea." Finn said uncertainly. "Last time, we all ended up high."

"No it's going to be a lot better this time. That won't happen because I have some special guest judges coming to watch your performance."

"Oh _please_." Santana scoffed, rolling her eyes. "It's probably just gonna be Miss Pillsbury and Coach Tanaka."

"Actually, they are going to be some of the other people who go to school here." He answered smugly.

Everyone sat up a little straighter as Mr. Schue explained.

"You see, Figgins finally agrees that Glee isn't getting the perks it deserves. That would be because of the football team, the cheerios, pretty much all of the sports teams. So, you are all going to do a performance for them. Girls are going to do one, and boy are going to do another. With me so far?" He asked them all. They all nodded.

"Now, so that we don't have a repeat of last time, we are going to allow you to do this in the auditorium. Only me, Ms. Pillsbury, and two other teachers will be there. Meaning, you are all virtually unsupervised. You can do almost _anything_. Now, if it gets too raunchy for me, then I'm going to deny it, but almost anything will go. This is really important to us guys. Glee needs support, which is the only reason Figgins has agreed to this. Don't let us down."

Tina spoke up. "But didn't you say they would be judges?"  
"Oh, I almost forgot to explain that part!" Mr. Schue exclaimed. "You see, at the end of the day, there will be polls open to the student body, and they'll vote on which performance was the best! Any questions?"

Kurt raised his hand. "So what's the challenge? Just do better than the others?"  
"No, Kurt. You are going to pick your challenge out of this hat." With that, Mr. Schue pulled out the dreaded hat that picked their ballad partners. "So, who's going to pull from the hat?"  
The girls and the boys went to different sides of the room and deliberated. It was decided that Mercedes would pick for the girls, and Artie would pick for the boys.

"You can go first Mercedes." Artie told her.

She wordlessly picked up a piece of paper from inside the hat.

"Portray the emotion that you think holds the most power in the world." She read. With that, she walked to the girls' side, with a parting smile to Artie.

Artie than picked up a crumpled piece of paper from the hat.  
"Choose a song sung by one of the best artists of this year and perform it just as they would." Artie read hesitantly.

"Alright, you have the rest of the period to brainstorm with your team. Good luck!"  
*************

"What do you think we should do guys?" Mercedes asked them anxiously. "What's a really powerful emotion?"  
"Love?" Rachel suggested.

"_Right_." Quinn said sarcastically.

The girls bounced ideas back and forth for about ten minutes, before Rachel cut in.

"We're doing this the wrong way. Instead of trying to think of the most powerful in the world, how about the most powerful we've ever felt? How about you Brittany?" Rachel asked Brittany, trying to get her to contribute since she'd been quiet this entire time.

"What?" she asked startled.  
"What's the most powerful emotion you've ever felt?" Rachel repeated.

Brittany answered the one emotion they hadn't mentioned in the entire ten minutes. The one that they definitely should have thought of first, and the one that would not only be the easiest to pull off, but the one that would assure them the most votes, after the reaction to the Glee club's first performance.

"Lust."

"Alright guys. Who should we do?" Artie asked the boys.

"Taio Cruz?"  
"_Hell _no."

"Jay Sean?"

"Maybe…"

"How about Jason Derulo?"

"That actually sounds pretty good."

In the end, the boys were caught between Jay Sean, since girls loved him, and Jason Derulo, because he was a kickass dancer.

"Mr. Schue?" Mike called.

"What's up boys?"

"Can we do a medley of two or three songs?"

"Sure!"  
"Alright, so we're doing Jason Derulo and Jay Sean."  
***************

**Alright guys, not that much fluff in this chapter besides the beginning, but tell me what you think? And no it's not going to be one of those "he saw her on stage and the whole world disappeared and he knew she was the one for him" clichés. REVIEW!**


	6. Bets and Performances

**A/N: Here it is! Sorry, minimal fluff here because everyone is so busy working on their challenge! But yes, the performance is in this chapter! Now PLEASE REVIEW, because I only got 5 reviews last chapter**

**A/N 2: I am not going to put the lyrics in the story because it influences the story length and I got some complaints about that (see I listen to what you have to say!) So when the time comes for their performance, I will put in a URL of the version of the song that you should listen to.**

What Mr. Schue didn't know about the project, was that it was great bonding time for the kids. They were by no means best friends or even good friends, but they definitely got a lot closer over the course of the practices. For the girls, Santana and Brittany didn't gossip about Rachel as much (although they couldn't stop, or they would be banished from popularity), and started talking to Quinn again. Rachel had started to grow on Tina, since Rachel and Mercedes were very good friends. Although the six girls had polarized back into their popular and unpopular groups, nothing more could be expected, since they were girls. And Brittany and Santana were definitely not giving up their popularity for new friends. That's what they have each other for. Quinn still hated Rachel with a passion. Not because she thought that Rachel was trying to get her baby's father, but because she was right- Quinn would end up pushing Puck away with her clingy attitude. In all honesty, Quinn wasn't really all that into Puck. She was still heartbroken over Finn. They would have been perfect together had it not been for that one drunken night. But love didn't make her blind- Finn was as dopey as they came and wasn't serious enough to pull himself together and get a job to support the baby. Puck maybe a player, but he had the determination to succeed. And that's what Quinn needed right now.

The boys were a totally different story. Finn and Artie had always been buds, and Puck and Artie got along great since they both played guitar, and they could carry on hours of conversation about the new guitar picks they saw or the awesome riffs they learned. Matt and Mike really were fine with making new friends, and were already on good terms with the gleeks, so they didn't have any problems. The only person that was really out of place was Kurt. Kurt wanted so very badly to be in the girl's group, but this performance was in front of the entire school. The last thing he needed was to do a number with the girls and be bullied worse than he already was. The only person the he actually got along with was Artie and partially Finn. Nobody was outright mean to him, but he could tell they shied away from talking to him. One day, they were jamming on ideas for the show, and Kurt was sitting at the piano dully pressing random keys and singing them. Suddenly, he was sick of it, and went and told them so.

"What is your problem?" he asked angrily, slamming his hands on the keys.

They, startled, looked up at him in shock.

"I don't know what you're talking about bro…" Puck started.

"Yes you do. Why am I here at the piano while you all come up with the idea? Everyone knows that I am the most artistically imaginative person here. So why am I not helping?"  
"Nobody said you couldn't help." Matt said defensively.

"But I know you don't want me to." Kurt told them bluntly.

"It's nothing personal. It's just that we don't want to go onstage wearing _feathers_." Puck said pointedly, reminding them of the time they had to do their mash up of Its My Life and Confessions.

"I have other ideas you know!" Kurt yelled angrily at him.

"Like what?" Artie asked interestedly.

"We could throw things into the audience. I know the girls are going to try and go razzle dazzle so we need something to really wow the audience." Kurt told them.

"That might work…" Finn said thoughtfully. "My mom has one of those confetti cannons and we can blow stuff out of them. But what would we throw at them? Like money or something?"

"No. We have four popular jocks that girls can't wait to get their hands on. How about your numbers?" Kurt suggested.

"And get booty calls it 2 in the morning? No thanks." Puck said firmly.

"Well maybe not." Kurt conceded. "But I do have some really good ideas!"  
The boys looked around at each other. Finally Puck was the one to speak.  
"Have a seat buddy."

"I don't think lust is enough." Rachel told the girls at one of their practices.

"What do you mean? Lust is the ultimate!" Brittany said cheerfully.

"Well sure lust is powerful, but with today's economy, I feel like there's something a little better." She hinted.

"Stupidity?" Tina suggested.

"I was thinking greed…" Rachel said, shooting a smile at Tina.

"Greed…" Santana said thoughtfully. Then her face lit up. "I know just the song."

Santana told them the name of the song, and they all immediately agreed. It was the perfect mixture of lust and greed.

"Guys, can I… choreograph this?" Rachel asked timidly.

"No. You'll only screw it up." Quinn said coldly. She had choreographed the old song.

"No Quinn. You screwed up the old one. We looked like cheerleaders. We need to look sexy. Not that cheerleaders aren't sexy." Rachel amended, "But when you go to a club and are trying to pick up a guy, you don't cartwheel into the splits to look sexy."

Quinn merely glared.

"Well why don't we have a dance off? You have 5 minutes to improvise. You have to do a number for this song. Whoever's is better will choreograph. Deal?"  
"Deal." They said in unison, both confident that their dance would be chosen.

They spent five minutes in opposite sides of the room, as though their creativity would be hindered if they were close to each other. Unluckily for them, the boys walked in during the third minute. Seeing Rachel and Quinn facing opposite directions on different sides of the room and the rest of the girls slacking off in the middle gave all of them smirks.

"Well, boys, this is going to be easier than I thought!" Kurt said smugly.

"Oh shut up." Santana snapped. Then the idea dawned on her. "Could you guys do something?"

"What?"

"Could you judge our dance off? Quinn versus Rachel, and tell us who does better."

"Sure why not. You couldn't beat us in your sleep." Puck said offhandedly.

"But Santana, how are we gonna do it without them hearing our song?" Mercedes demanded.

"Relax, Mercedes. I have it covered. They're just gonna listen to it through ear buds and do the dance that way."

"Fine." She said dejectedly. "Quinn first."

"With pleasure." She said with a smile. She put the ear buds in and started her dance.

Mostly, her dance was rather repetitive and boring, once they all thought about it. Mostly just high kicks and striking poses, with a few cool jumps here and there. Admittedly sexy poses, but that's all it was. There was polite applause after her number and she smiled triumphantly at Rachel, who just smirked back at her.

"My turn." She confidently said, as she put the ear buds in.

Rachel's dance was amazing, and it left the boys speechless with round eyes. She started off facing the back and did her moves as interpretations of the lyrics. When it said kiss, she blew the crowd a kiss. When there were parts that would look silly as interpretations, she did pirouettes, grand jetes, almost everything you could imagine with some pretty nice hip action in between.

"So Quinn or Rachel?" Santana asked diplomatically.

A unanimous Rachel went around.

"Great. Thanks boys." Rachel said beaming at them, as they ogled at her as though wishing her clothes off. She started to feel uncomfortable and hid behind Tina, who laughed outright at her shyness after the show she just put on.

"So, still think you're going to win?" Mercedes asked loudly.

"Of course we are." Matt answered easily.

"Wanna bet?" Rachel challenged from behind Tina.

"Fine. What are the stakes?" Puck asked mischievously.

"If we win you have to… go to lunch in girl's underwear." Rachel said after thinking with a wicked glint in her eye.

"As long as it's yours…" Puck said with a wink, attempting to see down her shirt. She shoved him away with a nasty glare.

"And if you lose, you have to go on a date with a nerd of _our_ choice." Mike said devilishly.

"Prepare to go underwear shopping boys." Mercedes said confidently.

The boys just scoffed and left. The girls threw smirks at their backs. With Rachel choreographing the dance, they were sure to win.

"So, Rachel, where do we start?" Santana asked in a businesslike way.

"Start facing the back, and turn around and blow the crowd a kiss." Rachel started as Quinn glared at her.

"Alright guys, so what are we going to do about wowing the crowd?" Kurt asked anxiously.

"I thought we were gonna throw stuff…" Finn said confusedly.

"Yes, but we still don't know what we're going to throw." Kurt said slowly.

"How about money?" Puck offered bluntly. "Easiest way to _buy_ votes I say."

"How about our shirts?" Mike offered.

"I like it. They can each have our face on the inside, with our phone number." Kurt voiced.

"What is it with you and phone numbers?" Matt asked him.

"Well it's a song about being single. It would make sense." He reasoned.

"Touché."

The students monotonously filed into the auditorium and filled up all of the red seats, which was saying something. They quietly talked to one another, about how boring this would be, things like that. The football players merely glared at the stage as though if they glared long enough the Glee kids would just forget to show up. Mr. Schuester walked to the stage and started talking into the microphone.

"Hey everyone. Now, the Glee club is going to put on a show for you. The boys will do one and the girls will do another. Your job is to vote on which one you liked better. The boys are up first. Enjoy!"

With that, he left the stage and sat quietly at the back of the auditorium. He promised the kids as much privacy as they could get, so he buried his head in his test papers, grading slowly.

Suddenly, the lights in the auditorium turned off, and a brightly lit screen went on in the stage, making the figures of the six boys on the stage silhouettes. They started singing their song, all wearing odd sunglasses that did not have a bridge on the nose. As it turned out, Finn was singing lead.

(**Play Ridin' Solo by Jason Derulo here.**)

As Jason Derulo was a great dancer, the boys had to master dancing. They did turns, and Puck did an amazing moon walk. He looked as though the floor beneath him was moving. They had agreed earlier that they had to appeal to the females in the room, so they constantly pointed and winked at the various groups of girls in the auditorium, all of who cheered when the boy of their affections gave them attention. About one minute into the song, all of the girls were screaming and even Mr. Schue looked up from his test to glare at the girls.

For the finale of the song, They got the compressed air canon and blew out the t-shirts they made. They also took their shirts off to show off their abs, and the girls went wild. The guys in the auditorium merely clapped politely at the end, because they thought the guys did moderately not bad.

The six guys, who were panting at this point, bowed to the audience and strutted off. Puck blew a kiss to the crowd.

"Get ready to date your nerds." Said the shirtless Puck to the astonished girls. The other guys smirked and they walked past the girls, who were wearing red robes over their actual outfits.

The lights were already off in the auditorium, so a spotlight went on, showing Rachel at the microphone.

www(dot)youtube(dot)com(slash)watch?v=-1ydkeZ1mJg

A spotlight fell on each of the girls in turn as the instruments played. They were all wearing red shirts much like what they wore for the Express Yourself number during their Madonna week, only there was black lace with patterns on it, so the red showed through. The straps were also black. They were wearing black shorts and red stilettos.

After the first few verses, all of the girls threw down their microphone stands and kicked them to the side and went into their formations for the choreography.

When there was just instrumental, for every embellishment in the music, one of them popped up for a small dancing solo, to draw attention to each of the girls as individuals. As the song continued, all of the girls besides Rachel went into the audience and made contact with the audience, strutting up the stairs and flirting with the guys as they sang. Rachel stayed on stage and did moves that showed off her flexibility, like the splits and lifting her leg up, pirouettes and the sort of things that the other girls couldn't do since they didn't have training as dancers. Then, all of the girls went back up to the stage, did their grand finale and bowed to the audience. The boys in the audience (including the jocks) went crazy for the girls, while some of the girls glared at them out of jealousy. The girls walked off the stage waving to the audience. The boys, who were watching backstage gawked at the girls as they walked in- particularly Rachel, who they didn't know could act like that.

"Don't be so sure." Tina said boldly, while the other girls smiled smugly.

**********************************************************  
**If you didn't get to use the URL, the girl's song was Sparkling Diamonds by Nicole Kidman from the movie Moulin Rouge.**


	7. Authors Note :

**A/N: Hey guys! Did you miss me? ;) No, I didn't fall off the planet. ANYWAY, I'm sooo sorry but I abandoned this story. The good news is, I'm rewriting it! That's right! You could either go to my author page and look it up or just go straight to (/) s/7610370/1/I_Am_Pretty_Right**

**It's a good time. I'm so sorry, but the characters have just changed so much and so have I! A lot of you have me on author alert so you already know (THANK YOU SO MUCH!) But here you go. Review review review!**


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